Because her work requires frequent traveling, come the weekend, Linda just wants to relax. She prefers solitary activities like reading or running.
Tim, however, really misses his wife during the week. So on the weekends, he wants them to go out. Relationship expert Mudita Rastogi , Ph. D, shared this common scenario. Fortunately, by making several adjustments to how you communicate, you can prevent and solve misunderstandings much more effectively. It helps you make progress on your issues.
Instead of trying to understand how a situation has affected their partner, couples are too busy formulating their rebuttal, according to Meredith Hansen , Psy. D, a clinical psychologist with a private practice for couples in Newport, Calif. Couples often hyper-focus on their thoughts during arguments, and ignore their own underlying feelings. Then share those feelings with your partner. For instance, this might be anything from taking a walk to practicing breathing exercises.
Just this change in perspective can help you better understand each other and work toward a solution for your problems. The intent is generally more important than the content. You should clarify your doubts, if any, there and then. Do this before the worm of misunderstanding gets the chance to sneak in and breed in your mind.
Verify if the body language of the person, facial expressions, and other factors go with what is being conveyed, and the way you perceive it. Try to confirm if the perception formed in your mind correctly relates to the cues presented. Resist the temptation to react. Evaluate your observations and verify. Find out if what the other person is conveying is the same or different from what you understood. Have patience.
Give time and opportunity to the other person to explain. Have discussions if possible, before jumping to conclusions, reacting, and making a hue and cry! This word is not a bad word. And eventually they lose interest in renewing their relationship. Remember, life is short. Always try to avoid misunderstanding others, wherever possible.
Communication is an important factor to avoid misunderstanding. So, make sure to communicate often and regularly with those who matter to you. Did you ever misunderstand anyone or have the experience of being misunderstood? What were the reasons? How do you try to avoid misunderstanding others? Share in the comments below. Your email address will not be published. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. I must say you have written an amazing blog post. When I went through the complete post thoroughly, I found some aspects really intriguing, especially the acronym of L. E — Listen, observe, verify, and evaluate. In addition to that, I have shared this article to one of my school time friends who was going through a very tumultuous time in his relationship. After reading your article, he utilized some of the pointers of this post, and guess what, he actually redressed the issue quite seamlessly.
Loved your approach towards simplifying the complexities of relationships. I am from old school, and had a big family. But people who have been raised in nucleus families feel difficult to understand these issues and they will definitely find your article a systematic approach to resolve issues. Keep writing! Your tips are very practical and logical. I think misunderstandings are even more of a problem today with the internet and texting.
This is a very comprehensive article to help couples avoid unnecessary misunderstandings. It is very important to listen, observe, verify and evaluate before talking to your partner. Listening is a vital key in a successful relationship. Thanks for this wonderful post.
Thanks for this wonderful post on how to avoid misunderstanding others. The tips given are very effective as well as practical. I hope you come up with useful tips on that as well. Glad you liked the post, and yes, I hope it helps to avoid misunderstanding others and building a warm relationship. I agree that you should always try to avoid misunderstandings with others. Most of the time if you are in an argument, listening is a hard thing to do.
The acronym you shared L. E is a great way to avoid any type of misunderstanding. Always try to listen and understand where the person is coming from. Great article! If you ask my opinion or tip for avoiding misunderstanding with others is simply to open up your mind..
I had some times where people misunderstood me. It always amazes me how text can be misunderstood so easily. I can well understand what you mean to say, and it may sound rude too. I guess with so much on your hands it must be tough to find the time to always be polite and explain things in detail. However, nice to know that you are through that phase — and yes, perhaps the new addition in your family did that trick congratulations!
We can never really know what might hurt another person, and it might not really be what we meant to say. We all live in our own unique realities which have been formed through experience. Even if they are the best communicators, and you are the best listener, there will always be a gap because we use words to convey thought, feelings, and experience. However, that being said, I do agree that the breakdown of your L-O-V-E recommendation does indeed help to fill this gap.
I would add that when you are listening to someone it is good to repeat to that person what you heard. So many times we think we hear something when in fact it is in error. We all have our own worlds based on self interpretations of life through our individual experiences. We all think, act, and perceive differently. Even the slightest of a gap in communication is sufficient for misunderstanding to creep in, and that really is a challenge for our communication skills.
An immediate clarification is much better than a clarification after a long period, because a time gap strengthens the misunderstanding. Lack of proper communication is one of the most popular causes of social problems. Communication is no doubt critical in avoiding and resolving misunderstanding. Misunderstandings can happen. I can recall few which happened to me online and the reason was the tone used in their writings. Usually I take some time out when such thing occurs and reply back with my normal tone.
What I thought I misunderstood is right and then I ignore it. I think most times what I see on others is that they are not prepared to listen well. They just interrupt and claim their ideas. Also some just write and hit publish or send without reading the content once again. I can recall one incident that happened to me. Once I commented on a blog, she removed my comment and I asked her why?
Then she got to know me well and approved the comment again. It happens among communities too, which could be very lethal. I had to experience lot of troubles from a group of Indian guys once on my blog too.
I believe we need to be on guard all the time in the sense that we should carefully observe what we say and what others say. Misunderstandings, if they occur, should never be ignored, otherwise, as you say, it would lead to many different issues.
You miss that and you hurt the communication process. In such cases, I prefer not to ask a question, as I cannot force anybody to read my post! I think having a generalized prejudice or negative presumption is not good. You cannot attribute the qualities of one person or a part of society to the whole of society or the country. That only shows the level of understanding of the person having such views, and we cannot do anything about that but hope that the person learns and grows with time and experience.
We can best try to make ourselves better, and just hope we can avoid any misunderstandings with others. As you say, we need to be unbiased and non-judgmental. Your posts are very thought provoking and really make me sit and think.
As a child I suffered a lot of misunderstanding and being misunderstood. My mum is deaf so communication was difficult at the best of times but when she was in a temper there really was no talking to her. With 4 boys to bring up on her own you can imagine why she got into a temper. When people are in different frames of mind, we all tend to approach things differently depending on our mood. Quite often we can be listening to, or reading, something and we pick up on one sentence and whilst thinking about that we miss the next paragraph or verse which often leads to misunderstanding.
Yes, I write my posts to make people think about the topics. And as you rightly point out, that is what happens in such cases — people are not in the same frame of mind.
A good teamwork always has everybody thinking on the same page, having the same frame of mind. You cannot afford to have your mood swings, as that would affect the working of the team. The team members have to follow the same approach in order to have harmony. Similarly, people in a relationship should think of themselves as part of a team and try to be on the same page trusting each other. That should do a lot to avoid misunderstanding. I know that a lot of times people misunderstand something because they are either really upset and are hearing what they want to hear.
But at times they are still misunderstood and my words are taken the wrong way. I also am always giving advice to my friends that the reason a lot of relationships fail is because they never really took the time to get to know that other person.
What I mean is when you have an argument, you have to take into consideration how that person feels about that particular subject. So many people miss this altogether which is why fights happen and misunderstandings occur.
Thank you for sharing all of this and you always have such a way of explaining things and listing better ways we can take matters into our own hands. I share everything from my personal experiences and knowledge acquired, hoping it helps somebody somewhere.
I agree that once we know the person, we can avoid misunderstanding as we become more sensitive and caring about the other person. In an argument people generally become ruthless and put all their energy and mind on trying to prove their point. I agree that it is necessary for two people to try to come on the same page by talking it out and settle the differences. And as you point out, those in love would put their egos aside and do just that.
I love the quote from Miguel Angel Ruiz. This is one of the key elements to avoiding misunderstandings. This is why I now try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes, that quote says it all — no presumptions and full communication. I agree that asking a simple question might clear up biggest of misunderstandings. You mentioned something that can be made as a rule — give people the benefit of doubt!
And, whenever in doubt, just ask. Really, how much time and energy can these simple rules save, which otherwise would be spent crying or cursing due to misunderstanding. It happens so much and is so easy to do since perception is so relative. While its hard to completely avoid, asking questions tends to minimize it.
Absolutely no doubt about that! Perception is relative. And, in any misunderstanding, the first step should always be to ask questions before jumping to any conclusions. Do Not Jump to Conclusions If your partner does something to confuse you or says something that hurts you, do not jump to conclusions about what her behavior or words mean. How to Deal with Immaturity in the What Is Supportive Communication? Coping Skills for When Emotional How to Explain Something Clearly.
Qualities of a Healthy Relationship. How to Be Emotionally Supportive of a Five Benefits of Attentive Listening. The Importance of Honesty in a Marriage. How to Apologize to Your Girlfriend in How to Restore Trust in a Relationship How to Handle the Silent Treatment in How to Deal With an Insensitive Husband.
0コメント